


You Are Stiles

by madetobeworthy



Series: Must Exist In Poetry [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Poetry, M/M, and is sort of poetry itself...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-06
Updated: 2013-01-06
Packaged: 2017-11-23 22:01:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/626977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madetobeworthy/pseuds/madetobeworthy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are Stiles, and you are in love with a werewolf. Werewolves are dangerous, but they are no danger to you. Werewolves are deadly, but they are resilient and will not die. Werewolves are tactile  and you belong to them. You are Stiles, and a werewolf is in love with you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Are Stiles

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this poem](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5da18AZig1qbl5mqo1_500.jpg) (or rather the tail-end of it)
> 
> For those of you who aren't familiar with it, it's titled _You Are Jeff_ from the book Crush by Richard Siken. I haven't read the book myself, but I am enthralled by this poem. As such this fic took on a format similar to it and I guess it's poetry in it's own right? I'm not sure, it's 6:30am and I've been writing it for an hour. I'm also terrible at poetry.
> 
> So yeah, early morning, no sleep, and I haven't even proof-read it or had it beta'd so any and all mistakes are my own fault and I'll most likely cringe at it in the morning. Be kind.

1\.   
You are tired. You're running and running, your lungs are empty and your heart is hammering jackrabbity fast. You want to stop running but if you stop running the monsters catch up. This is your life now, running from monsters. This is your life now, running to monsters. You are tired and your legs burn and your mind screams in agony but you can't stop or else you will die. You are tired and you are running until you can't run anymore. You are tired and you are laying on the frost-chilled ground because the monsters have come to save you from the monsters.

2\.   
The leaves turn colours and you wonder if you thought they were more beautiful before you knew the names, or after. It's hard to find beauty in the pain of your life these days and long hours in the forest are calming. Dangerous, but calming. Everything in your life is dangerous now and you think the slight risk is worth the steady heartbeat and the easy breaths. You sit on the ground and the cold seeps through your pants into your very bones but moving isn't an option anymore. You have a blanket of yellows and oranges above you, and the security of red eyes closer than you think. Autumn is your favourite because it is beautiful and you wonder if he feels the same way.

3\.   
You are vexing, that is what you're told. You are vexing so you make a game out of it and see how many other v words you are. Verbose, veracious, vengeful. You are vengeful and you want to make people pay for the things they've done. You are vengeful and you know you've done the worst of things to the people you love. It hurts you when they hurt and it hurts you when you hurt them but you can't stop. The more they hurt, the more you hurt. A vicious cycle spiralling down, down, down until you think there is no bottom. Just never ending pain masquerading as guilt. You lay in bed and feel guilty about your survival until the sun comes up.

4\.   
He feels guilt just as clearly as you do. Perhaps more, but you don't think about it. A cold settles on the world and the beautiful colours of nature are gone, replaced by the fake glimmer of bright lights and jingle bells. You sit in the snow because you have a habit of sitting with things and blanketing yourself in them. You sit in the snow and you feel guilty and alive and you know they are connected. There are monsters in the world and you have surrounded yourself with them. There are monsters in the world and you think you are one of them. You sit in the snow and a few feet away he sits in the snow and you consider yourselves monsters in the same way. You sit in the snow and for the first time in seven years you don't feel alone.

5\.   
They count down the seconds loud and drunk. You are loud and drunk. Five. You don't think the new year will hold anything to the previous one. It will just mimic it in ways that make it seem different but you know it's a lie. Four. It's just another year you've survived. Without her, and with monsters. Three. Werewolves are awesome. They are dangerous, but awesome. Your best friend is a werewolf. You trust him with your life. Two. You're staring across the room, and then you're moving across it. The new year won't be any different, except that it will. It won't hold a candle to the previous year, except that it will. Werewolves are dangerous and could easily kill you, except that they won't. One. You are Stiles and you are kissing Derek. Happy New Year.

6\.   
It is spring and you think of poetry. It rains and the dirt washes away. It rains and the flowers bloom. You are running through the rain but you are not running for your life. Sometimes it still feels like it and you think maybe that's like poetry too. It's raining and you're running from a boy who wants to devour you. You are afraid and you are in love and you think they are connected. You run until your heart beats jackrabbity fast and there is no air in your lungs, you run until your legs nearly give out. When he catches you he kisses you and you think this is what it feels like to be gobbled up.

7\.   
You are eighteen today, but you still feel sixteen. You are eighteen today, and that means you are an adult. Everything seems to rush at you at once and you're so tired of running away you think you've forgotten how. You're drowning in too much air and not enough. You're sinking to the bottom of the sea and you are dying. He finds your hands with his and the world balances out. You remember how to breath and you remember how to run, and in the end you make him run away with you. You don't go far, just far enough. You're sitting in his car and you're running your fingers over the cool leather of the seats. He's the only one to have ever taken your hand and run away with you and you're not sure what that means. You're sitting in his car and you're running your fingers over the hot leather of his jacket. There are words on the tip of your tongue but they feel more dangerous then he does. You are Stiles, and you are in love with a werewolf.

8\.   
He brings you home in time for school and promises you can run away again after you graduate. You never realized there was a time frame for running away, and you tell him as much. You never realized you were in love with his laughter because you've never heard it before, and you tell him that too. You kiss him and you love him and you never want to let him go, but he makes you let go. He leaves with promises of soon on his lips. He's dangerous and safe, and you love him and you believe him.

9\.   
Today you aren't running for your life, but you are running for his. You are running to monsters not so that they can save you, but so you can save them. You think about autumn leaves and winter snow and spring flowers. You think that summer has nothing to offer but dry heat and there is no waxing poetic about that. You think that summer has nothing to offer but death and you think that it's an awfully unfair season to be attached to something so cold. You run until your very soul aches and your mind chants _please, please, please_ with every step that you take. _Please, let me be fast enough._ You keep running. _Please, let me see him one more time._ Your legs are giving out now. _Please, don't let him be dead._ You stumble into a clearing and find him laying in the grass like he's sleeping, but you don't know if he's sleeping.

10\.   
You are Stiles, and you are in love with a werewolf. Werewolves are dangerous, but they are no danger to you. Werewolves are deadly, but they are resilient and will not die. Werewolves are tactile  and you belong to them. You are Stiles, and a werewolf is in love with you. There are words on the tip of your tongue and he catches them with grace. He tells you he loves you; he looks dangerous and safe, and you believe him and you love him back.

**Author's Note:**

> For updates on any fics I may be writing, teen wolf related things and general nervous breakdowns about the fandom and my real life, feel free to follow me on tumblr! [madetobeworthy](http://madetobeworthy.tumblr.com)
> 
> (ps I don't bite and I love to make friends so feel free to shoot me a message there too :3)


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